Pilgrimage to the Homeland Part Two: Night of 1000 Nuts

The day started innocently, nobody could have foreseen the events that transpired on this night.  Between the rising of the dead, and the near coup d’état from the twins, it is a wonder any of us came out alive.  This evening is etched into the very souls of everyone involved.  It is a memory we would all like to forget, but somehow, I don’t think any of us will truly forget what transpired during “The Night of 1000 Nuts and one Goat Boy!”

The setting for the evening was a normal suburban location, however, through the use of transhyperstylation it was transformed into a ghostly arena filled with ominous artifacts and creepy comforts.

  Entrance to the masquerade ball was only permitted if Jorge The Ripper decided one was worthy.  For those that were not, a grave site had been placed outside for their remains.

 

 

 

 

 

The ball was officially kicked off with the appearance of the hosts for the evening.  A Mr. Tweedle Dee and Mrs. Tweedle Dumb, tourists from Hawaii that traveled across vast oceans for the demented pleasure of capturing souls in their picture taking devices.

 

Soon after the arrival of the hosts.  many more of the suspects began to appear.  A military person carrying an odd light up sword like saber was spotted outside of the ball.  Jorge attempted to check the sword but was promptly subdued.

Next came the strangest mix of a family.  There was an animated milk carton with a familiar face of a missing person on it. Beside the milk was a masked woman.  It was rumored that this woman was queen of a far off galaxy, but this was unsubstantiated.  In the queens arms was some sort of animal.  It looked dinosaur like but we surmised it was an endangered animal from some unknown planet.   Beside her was a most beautiful princess. She carried a fan that was most mysterious.  It's under investigation if this fan was used for the grotesque acts to follow.

Appearing next was another odd assortment of a family.  First there was someone that looked an awful lot like the original owner of this suburban home.  A Mr. Larry Butler.  Once a prominent government employee, but in recent years has been spotted through the world looking for "The perfect shot"   Through intense forensic analysis, it has been determined that this was not Mr. Butler, rather it was an imposter, attempting to uncover Mr. Butler's secrets.  In her arms was held one of sciences true wonders.  Half human and half goat.  This "goat boy"  was a sight to see.  He had an unnatural ability to control peoples minds by a simple look.  We know he had a role in the crimes, but are unsure as to how. Standing beside the imposter was that guy that made that movie about pink flamingos, and that other movie that had something to do with an aerosol hair stiffener.   Although he is strange, we believe he had nothing to do with the events of the evening.  In his arms was held Paige, the princess of the ladybugs.  Her innocence in this case is also yet to be determined.

Next on the scene was a famous group.  The Addams Family.  This family needs no introduction, however on this particular evening, the family appeared to be at their pinnacle of sneakiness.  All five of them had something up their sleeve, or so it seemed.

 

 

 

The odd Couple..... no, not Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, but a hippy and a geek, passed through the portal next.  The investigative team owes these two thanks.  Without their thorough documentation of the evening, the investigation would have little evidence to go on.

The Master of Disaster and his Spider Bride arrived next, along with two misfits in training. This group also is suspected to have a key role in the crimes of  the evening.

The infamous pirate "No Beard" and her lover, Mike the invisible man came next.   This was the first time for many of the attendees to "see" Mike, and his attendance was appreciated.  With his stealth capabilities, he is our key witness in this investigation.

 

Another of the military men arrived, this one was much bigger than the first.  For some reason he looked like a "clone" of the first.  Nobody thought much of this until later in the night.

 

 

             An unusual sound started coming from the ground.  It was faint at first and the chatter of the attendees overshadowed it, but as the intensity increase, it became evident that this was the sound of a guitar, and it was coming from the ground outside.  Just as it became unbearably loud, the ground erupted and out came the decaying corpse of Kurt Cobain, the famous musician that died ten years ago.  Although he was grotesque, we feel he was humble and kind to all that attended that evening.

 

 

The social butterfly, or should I say ghoul showed up next.  She was observed throughout the evening eyeing people suspiciously.  Although no evidence for these crimes have been linked to her, we are confident that she had a devious agenda for the evening.  Only time will tell what that might have been.

 

 

 

 

                                                                        The harlot of New Orleans and the  Leopard queen arrived last.  These two spent the entire evening simply partying "Like its 1999" without a doubt, these two were so busy livin' la vida loca that they had no involvement in the events that occurred.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  About midway through the evening the two innocent victims arrived.  Their car broke down a ways up the road and they entered just looking to call a tow truck.  Little did they know that it would be the last time anyone spoke to them alive again. 

 

Now that all the players have been set.  The events of the evening will be retold. It is hard to piece together all that transpired, however with the testimony of the witnesses and the photo and video documentation, this investigative committee has been able to determine what happened.   It is with great sadness that this story is told, yet we feel this story MUST be told, so that an event like this might never happen again.

The first event that occurred was that someone switched all the drinks.  People thought they were having their typical alcoholic beverages, but in reality, the alcohol had been replaced by a substance unknown to mankind.  Laboratory tests have concluded this drink to produce highly unusual affects to those that drink it.  It has been known to cause rage, anger, and temporary insanity. 

 

Mass consumption of this beverage lead to a sort of ritualistic  ceremony.  A dance began, which we can only guess that it was a sacrificial pagan act.  It first started with the hosts.  Followed swiftly by the rest of the crowd.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right in the middle of the dance, the spider bride was attacked by one of her own spiders.  We should have known something was not right when this happened.

 

 

 

Three of the attendees realized they had known each other nearly 15 years prior at E.C.U. (Extraterrestrial Center for Uniqueness)  This stirred old emotions and memories, causing the taller military man's mind to wander (possibly saving the life of everyone!)

 

 

 

Immediately after this, the smaller military man erupted in the center of the room, and the taller one joined his side.  They yelled out "We are clones from a galaxy far, far away!  We have come to take over this party and nobody will stop us!"  The taller man, who was thinking of the "glory days" wasn't paying attention and the space queen grabbed her L gun and fired.  knocking both clones dead.  Thus thwarting the "attack of the Clones" as it came to be called. Through all the commotion, someone lost a contact, so we all joined in looking for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When things returned to normal, the children of the candy corn had a secret meeting and decided it was their time to take control of the situation.   None of the adults could resist this unnatural power, and were easily over taken. From this point on they used they power of cuteness to seize power and establish themselves as the party masters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things were working out well for the "Children of the Candy Corn"  until Connor AKA "Goat Boy"  laughed at a suggestion made by Miles AKA "Dino Boy".   This caused a rift between the two of them and arguing while in front of the Space Queen caused the spell to be broken. Thus allowing the adults to regain control.

 

 

 

This loss of control outraged the other children, and they revolted.  The fighting lasted a good while and in the end the two innocent victim had lost their heads!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the reestablishment of control by the adults, the party again calmed down.  Control had to be maintained and adults had to keep a tight hold on the children.

The imposter finally found the secrets of Larry Butler, and held her prized camera in triumph.

 

 

 

A few more people showed up near the end of the evening.  Skeletor stumbled in looking for He-Man, but quickly left when he realized he was at the wrong party.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harry Potter crashed through the roof when his Nimbus 2000 broke.  He decided to hang out anyway.  He said he was tired of Ron and Hermione always following him.  Lastly, Ozzie Osborne and his wife showed up.  Ozzie claimed he was looking for more bats to eat.

 

By the end of the evening, the body count was up to four.  The two clones and the two innocent victims.  It was a shameful evening. The next day, everyone awoke to pounding headaches, and fuzzy memories of the nights events. 

 

After a long and drawn out investigation, it is of the opinion of this committee that only one person was responsible for the evenings foolishness and mayhem.  This very person was who spiked all the drinks and got the ball rolling.  This was the same person that used their cuteness powers to influence all attendees in do his bidding.  This person was...

 

 

 

 

                            The Goat Boy!!!